4/28/2014

Fast Food for INTJs

In Canada we have a coffee franchise that is an institution, maybe even a religion, Tim Hortons.

We Canadians flock to this institution like ducks to water, myself included.

When you have an institution for a franchise you really don't need to do anything, people just show up, over and over.

However if the institution is run by humans, humans who must not be INTJs, they do funny things.

Now this is technically a fast food restaurant, and what do we want in a fast food restaurant?

Do we want quality?

No.

Do we want a vast menu of items?

No.

Do we want to become friends with the employees?

No.

We want our "food" fast.

That's it.

That's all we ask for.

Fast.

Maybe consistency, but that's just a bonus.

Fast.

That's it.

So back to the humans running Tim Hortons, they in their infinite wisdom have decided that all their employees should tell us their names before they take our order.

Huh?

As in welcome to Tim Hortons, my name is Suzy, how may I help you.

Now you may say Solfest come on that doesn't seem so bad.

Just wait there's more.

The humans at "Tim's" (notice how the customers shorten the name in order to save time) have placed digital screens on all drive through order units.

Great idea, I see my order as I order it in order to insure the order (that's all a lot of orders) is correct.

Beautiful.

However after the unnecessary and time consuming personal introduction Suzy now repeats my order back to me.

What?

INTJs do not like to repeat themselves.

Now you may say again Solfest that doesn't seem so bad.

Well you're wrong, its bad.

Now after the unnecessary personal introduction, the very nice visual confirmation of my order, the unnecessary repeat of my order, Suzy then asks me to review the screen and tell her if my order is correct.

By my count this is now the third review of my order.

I should mention my order was a large black coffee and a blueberry muffin.

Oh I almost forgot to mention Suzy informed me after my order that Tim's now has 3 different kinds of blueberry muffins, so which one would I like.

At this point I remember I have a plastic knife in an old McDonalds bag on the floor of the truck and I am considering entering the facility and killing everyone in sight.

With my plastic McDonald's knife.

However at that point I also realized I am eating fast food way too much and if I exert myself with the plastic knife slaughter I may have a cardiac event.

I stand down and inform Suzy I want the blueberry blueberry muffin.

She relents.

As a Canadian institution Tim Hortons is very busy, always, and everywhere the drive through is lined up through the parking lot and quite often out onto the road.

The place is busy.

Time should be the most important factor in all Tim Hortons executive decisions.

My time should be their utmost concern.

Apparently it is not.

I should also mention that this particular order occurred at 5:00 am.

I want a coffee and a muffin, take my money, and don't talk to me.

Thank you.

1 comment:

Koala Love said...

This made me laugh so much.