11/24/2009

Solfestland

Your Supreme Ruler
Greetings and Salutations:

Welcome to Solfestland.

Do not be alarmed, I, Solfest, have taken over the world and this is how it shall work from now on.

Before I outline how our new world will work let me offer a few key beliefs that our world will be based on.

1) Governments cannot create jobs, only businesses create jobs.

2) A corporation is not a human, it cannot vote, it does not require health care, it is simply an entity through which commerce occurs. Therefore we shall not treat it as a citizen.

3) Government is a charity not a business.

4) Governments can only exist by legislating donations to themselves.

5) We as a society wish to work together as a collective on a few key issues. We shall leave all other operations to private enterprise.

6) As we citizens shall all receive benefits from these collective entities we shall therefore be required to donate to our government in order for them to offer these services to us.

7) We will expect our government to provide us with security, health care, energy management, and that's about it.

Ok let's get started.

First things first, I need money.

Taxation: From this day forth there shall be no corporate income tax. Business is the engine that feeds us all and we shall not remove precious capital from this engine until they are done with it. There shall be one exception to this rule. Any company that hoards cash shall pay a 35% tax on this cash. Hoarding shall be considered to have occurred if the company holds a cash amount that exceeds their current liabilities by a factor of three to one for a period greater than one year less a day.

In case this has confused you let me explain. Business can do four things with their net income, hoard it which we tax, pay dividends to humans which we tax, hire more humans which we tax, or reinvest in their business by purchasing capital goods or acquiring other companies.

We shall tax all humans who derive income from capital gains, dividends, interest, or employment. All capital gains, dividends and employment income shall be taxed at a flat rate of 10%. Interest income shall be taxed at a flat rate of 15%. This is done to encourage individuals to invest their savings rather than just earn interest on their savings. That said the interest tax rate is not so punitive that it would discourage those from interest bearing notes if that is their preference.

There shall also be a consumption tax of 10% on all goods and services sold to humans in Solfestland. If you are frugal your total tax bill shall be less than those who are not. In other words you are not tax punished for earning more income you are only tax punished for spending that income. (ha ha) Solfest loves this idea.

State Work Force: Solfestland will have a small state work force. This work force will be comprised of the very best people we can identify. These people will be paid very well. These people will understand that they have a grave responsibility to the citizens of Solfestland. These people will understand that is a great privilege to work for the people of Solfestland. Integrity will be the key character trait of this work force and all state employees will be asked to sign a Statement of Duty before they are hired. This statement declares that any conviction for a breach of the public trust will be punishable by death.

If you are not comfortable with this we suggest you do not work for the state.

Justice: We shall employ one national police force. No jurisdiction issues, no overlap. Judges shall be appointed by the state. Corruption will not be tolerated in our justice system. If you are convicted of offering or accepting a bribe or if a public official steals funds from our public trust they shall be put to death.

We consider this a deterrent.

A country cannot exist if the state officials are corrupt. Law and order must never be questionable. They are absolutes. You can trust us. Individuals and business cannot flourish without this trust. It is the most important component of any country. Thus the penalty for breaching this trust is a final one.

Parole shall be abolished; the state will build and staff all prisons. Sentences will be fair and will be served in their entirety. No other offence other than corruption shall have the death penalty as the outcome of conviction.

Murder does not undermine the state. Murder is usually a crime of passion and the death penalty is not a deterrent.

Convicted murderers shall serve life in prison. There is no degree of murder. No other offence will have a life sentence. First time offenders, other than murderers will be sentenced lighter than repeat offenders. You will get a second chance at life. Prisons will be run by the staff not the inmates. No prisoner shall be abused by anyone while in prison. Prison staff are state officials, the penalty for bribery and or corruption is the same for all. Death.

Health Care: There shall be a state funded health care system for all citizens. The state cares about its citizen’s health and wishes to provide them with the best health care we can offer. Private health care can continue to exist for anyone who wishes to run such a business and for anyone who wishes to pay for such a service.

Defense: Defense and justice are rolled into one entity. The national police/security force consists of law enforcement, army, navy, and air force. All are bound by the Solfestland Statement of Duty.

Transportation: All transportation systems shall be owned by private entities, not the state. They shall receive tolls from all users to pay for the infrastructure they provide. All vehicles will have an identification tag that is read by monitors at the tolls. Cars will not have to stop. You will receive a monthly bill for your infrastructure usage. If you don't drive you don't pay. Any conviction for hiding or defacing your automobile tag will result in the loss of your vehicle use privileges. There will be no second chances. You will never drive again. Impaired driving convictions will have the same result. You will never drive again. Convictions for throwing garbage out of a vehicle onto the road will have the same result. You will never drive again.

We consider this a deterrent.

Education: The state will provide buildings to house groups of human children. These were formally known as schools. Adult humans will gather resources and hire other adult humans to teach their human children. The adult humans will determine what they want their staff (formerly known as teachers) to teach to their human children.

If an adult human does not participate (pay) in such a group the state will take their children and provide housing and education for them. These adult humans will then be sterilized by the state as they have proven that they are capable of reproduction but not capable of nurture.

The state does care that the human children are educated and cared for. The care of these children by the state will by done by the very best people we can find. These facilities (formerly known as orphanages) will not be a house of horror for the children but rather a home that will provide them with a chance at life second to none. The state employees that run these homes understand they are bound by the Solfestland Statement of Duty. Any conviction for breach of this public trust is punishable by death.

We consider this a deterrent.

Social Security: All humans over the age of 17 will have 10% of their gross income removed from their salary (pre tax) and placed into their own retirement savings account. No tax will be levied on dividends, capital gains, or interest while the funds are in the retirement account. Once the funds are in that account it is up to the human to determine how they invest these funds. Humans can begin drawing funds out of the account at the age of 55 if they wish. The withdrawal rate will be prorated on the state actuarial tables for male and female life expectancy. This will be the maximum you can withdrawal. You can choose to withdrawal less. The state will charge the normal 10% tax on all funds withdrawn from the plan. If you run out of money before you run out of life it is your problem. The state does not care.

Energy: Energy is precious. From this day forth it shall be treated as such.

Companies shall have access to all the energy they need at market rates. Humans shall have their market rate energy rationed. Any consumption over your ration will have a 35% tax attached to it. This includes all heating, power, and transportation fuels. Your utility bill will automatically add the tax for any consumption over your ration. For example if you own a 1200sq ft house and use an average amount of electricity and heat you will not pay the tax. If you own a 10,000 sq ft house or just use way more than the average home does in power and heat you will pay the tax on the amount over the ration.

This means you Al Gore.

All transportation fuels will be purchased with a state issued pre paid card so we can track how much fuel you use. If you wish to exceed the state determined monthly ration for fuel you can still purchase more fuel with the 35% tax included.

The proceeds from the energy taxes will be used to develop and deploy new energy sources and fund all state research into things that can possibly destroy us. Private research can continue if funded by private sources. The state has the option to review and use this research if it is made available. Public policy on things that can destroy us will only be made from the state research teams. All private research is considered corrupt by its funding source.

Treasury: There is now only one currency and we shall call it the Loonie. (ha ha) Interest rates will be fixed at 5%. Banks can borrow from the treasury at that rate and charge whatever they want on the money they lend. Banks will float the rate not the state.

The state will play no role in business. If you bankrupt your company you bankrupt your company. If you bankrupt yourself and your family then so be it. The state does not care. If banks and humans do stupid things that create speculative bubbles they will be left to suffer the consequences of their actions. The state does not care.

We believe our initial level of taxation may be too high. We will maintain this level until we have cash on hand equal to one full year's expenses. Once we achieve that we will lower taxes to meet our annual budgeted expenses. We will only spend in the current year what we received in the previous year. This way we will always know in advance how much money we have to spend in the current year.

Mrs. Solfest
If we find that income is not sufficient to meet our needs we will increase taxes and or cut spending. We will ask you before we do this. We will always state our budget and ask if you want us to cut spending out of the budget or if you want us to increase taxes. You decide. We will not borrow money. The state is a charity not a business. Charities should never borrow money. In fact we will make it illegal for a charity to borrow money.

All other current government departments and employees are free to go. In case that is not clear to you let me phrase it another way, your cheque is not going to arrive next month.

Mrs. Solfest and I would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to Solfestland.

As this is a new document and a work in progress we welcome your comments and suggestions.

Thank you.

13 comments:

FX said...

So I see waiting for blue bars became boring..

Discussion about topic is not my cup of tea, but your effort put a smile on my face and deserves notice.
;)

Solfest said...

Trades are scarce. Brain activity is abundant.

longandwrong said...

My first thought is you should be trading 8 FX pairs and then you wouldn't have time for this nonsense.

My second thought is irrespective of if I agree with SolfestLand then you have demonstrated that the dualism of left/right-wing politics is outdated. Fresh thinking is required.

My third thought is that actually I do agree with a lot of your argument (our differing views on trees was just a rocky patch in our marriage). I do though prefer the concept of a 'Citizen's Income' that guarantees enough money for food/shelter/healthcare for everyone (but not other apparent *essentials* like a foreign holiday). Once people's basic needs are safeguarded then the rest is up to the market.

Do you have any idea how many FX set-ups I have missed whilst typing this?!

daytrader233 said...

You should really think about getting an Xbox to fill your slack times.

Solfest said...

DT maybe we need less Xboxes in the world.

It's official now, I have become my Grandfather.

You kids get off my lawn!

Solfest said...

Ah yes LW I forgot about the welfare department.

Imagine that. :)

Hmmm what to do, what to do.

Well we must as a collective care for the citizens of Solfestland who cannot care for themselves due to physical or mental reasons.

And we shall. And of course we shall care for them with people who sign the you know what, and if they do bad things we will, you know.

Beyond that the state expects the humans of Solfestland to care for those who may be temporarily down on their luck.

So for those able bodied, able minded humans who have run out of money?

The state does not care.

Anonymous said...

Solfest look like Ilya Muromets.

Solfest said...

Is that good?

Anonymous said...

He's a Russian folk hero and the subject of a really fun movie by Alexander Ptushko that aired in the US back in the 1960s as "The Sword and the Dragon". So the answer is yes. Also watch out, the Tugars are coming!

Solfest said...

http://www.thestar.com/news/ontario/article/735580--millions-wasted-in-welfare-programs

Perhaps the Solfestland Statement of Duty would be of some assistance here.

Solfest said...

Solfest Statement of Duty anyone??


By Derek Abma Postmedia News

OTTAWA — Former Bloc Québécois leader Gilles Duceppe received lifetime achievement accolades in the 14th annual Teddy Waste Award ceremony, put on by the Canadian Taxpayers Federation Wednesday to highlight what it deems to be wasteful government spending. Mr. Duceppe lost his seat in last May’s federal election, but the federation said his career in federal politics — performed while dedicated to the cause of Quebec sovereignty — has cost taxpayers a total of $41.8-million.

To the recipient of a $2.9-million pension, the gift of a grateful nation, for a lifetime of devoted service toward breaking it up, a man who put his party’s historian on the taxpayer’s payroll to write a book … the man who put his party’s executive director on the parliamentary payroll even though taxpayers subsidize his party, the Bloc Québécois, to the tune of $23.5-million,” Gregory Thomas, the federation’s federal director, said in announcing Mr. Duceppe as the winner.

From the CTF’s press release, the other winners:

Federal Teddy Winner
Agriculture Canada Tobacco Transition Program: $284-million.

“A program set up to pay farmers to get out of the tobacco business that ended up doubling the number of tobacco farmers.”

Provincial Teddy Winner
Alberta MLAs’ “best committee ever.”

“Twenty-one Alberta MLAs [who] get $1,000 per month to serve on a committee that hasn’t held a meeting since 2008.”

Municipal Teddy Winner
Montreal’s invisible snow snowplows.

“Motorists and pedestrians need speedy snow removal service after the snow falls, not before.”

Other nominees included:

Department of National Defence
“$2-billion since 1998 for four used submarines still not in service.”

Atlantic Canada Opportunities Agency
“$190,000 to subsidize doughnuts made with pure lard in the province with the highest obesity rate in Canada.”

National Capital Commission
“$5.2-million for seven portable skate shacks on the Rideau Canal that sit unused 337 days a year.”

Yukon
“Supreme Court Justice Vital Ouellette’s $15-million order to build a school for 41 French-speaking students in Whitehorse.”

British Columbia
“B.C. Hydro for paying $42.3-million in performance bonuses to 99% of its employees.”

Ontario
“ORNGE Air Ambulance Service: $25-million unaccounted for and a police investigation unfolding.”

Winnipeg
“A $5,000 grant to notify citizens in winter if it is slippery outside.”

Calgary
“$25-million and counting for the 15-month overdue pedestrian Peace Bridge that doubles as a public art display.”

St. Albert, Alta.
“$280,000 to buy a Starbucks, to compete with taxpaying St. Albert small businesses.”

Solfest said...

Solfest Statement of Duty anyone??

http://www.primetimecrime.com/Recent/Greed%20Corruption/Quebec.htm

Solfest said...

I used to think I was kidding about the death penalty for breaching the Solfest Statement of Duty.

Now I'm not so sure.

http://www2.macleans.ca/2012/01/05/99-stupid-things-the-government-did-with-your-money/

http://www2.macleans.ca/2012/01/06/99-stupid-things-the-government-spent-your-money-on-2/

http://www2.macleans.ca/2012/01/09/99-stupid-things-the-government-spent-your-money-on-3/