The future value of Solfest's cable bill

As Solfest has run out of things to say about all things trading Solfest has decided to follow the tried and proven Hollywood format of stealing someone else's format.

Solfest enjoys reading Rocky Humbert and this post is a blatant rip off of his highly successful blog. Solfest hopes that Mr. Humbert realizes this is actually quite a compliment, and Solfest also hopes he does not have to retain an attorney.

Today Solfest received his monthly cable bill and to his horror saw his second price increase in 5 months. Solfest’s cable company did assure him that they are "committed to providing you with the best programming and service available."

Solfest notes that the word "available" is key to their commitment as Solfest has no other cable options to "avail" himself of.

Solfest also notes that he "tortures" the trophy children with basic cable services only in order to preserve scarce capital. Solfest's recollections of his own tortured childhood with rabbit ears and 2 television stations to choose from does little to sooth the trophy children's concerns.

Perhaps once the trophy children see Solfest's brilliant future value calculation of his cable bill the trophy children will see the wisdom of his ways.

Solfest paid the cable company $34.60 per month in March 2009, then at the request of Solfest's cable company he paid them $35.65 in April 2009, and then once again at the request of Solfest's cable company he paid them $37.75 in September 2009.

Solfest's mathematical skills have computed this increase as such:

(($37.75 - $34.60)/$34.60)*100 = 9.104%.

Solfest must now make the large assumption that he will not see another cable bill increase before the end of year so he can use this percentage as an annual percentage increase.

With this percentage increase in hand and Solfest's mathematical skills tapped out Solfest turned to the power of the internet to discover the future value of his cable bill in 50 years. This computation does make another rather large assumption that the pace of cable bill increases will not increase over these 50 years.

The results are in. Solfest will be paying $2,944.09 per month for basic cable service by the year 2059.

All this heavy computing got Solfest thinking, what if Solfest cancelled cable and then invested the $37.75 on a monthly basis for 50 years at Solfest's cable company's annual growth rate of 9.104%?

Solfest once again turned to the power of the internet and discovered he would have $401,473.19 in 50 years time without ever increasing the monthly contribution.

Solfest is now wondering if you can connect rabbit ears to a LCD TV.

To ease Solfest's pain he listened to Eric Clapton and watched some TV via the internet.

TV via the internet, this may catch on.


Rocky Humbert said...

Dear Solfest:

On the subject of your second paragraph, let's have MY people meet with YOUR people; and I'm sure that they can reach an out-of-court settlement.

On the more important subject of your cable bill, I would suggest (seriously) that you call them up, and tell them that you just got an offer from DirecTV to switch, and it's extremely tempting, and that you are willing to commit to another year with the cable company if they give you a $15 per month credit on your bill. My guess is they will offer you a $10 credit.

If this works (and I will bet a wooden nickel that it does), you can send me my 10% commission via PayPal.

With regards,
Rocky Humbert

Solfest said...

Rocky, the my people your people meeting sounds good, let's have my people call yours first.

I did have a conversation with my cable company and there were threats involved.

Maybe the threat of my business leaving them is a better route to go.

Although I still think I can get these rabbit ears to work.

Enjoy the weekend.

daytrader233 said...

$110 a month for cable here. TV + Internet.

I called the evil monopoly a couple months ago and told them that my wife lost her job (she didn't) so they gave me 6 months for $66. And they told me to call back in 5 months if she doesn't find a new job. (she won't...after all, she has a job!)

I like to think of it as stealing from a thief. Am I a bad guy?

Solfest said...

Na you're more like Robin Hood DT.

longandwrong said...

Cable? I had an image of you in the Canadian wilderness but in one post you have destroyed that.

Here we dream of ever getting cable, DAB radio, mains gas or honest FX brokers ;-)

Solfest said...

L&W we plowed, drilled, grazed, and chopped our way through the wilderness years ago.

Honest FX brokers, LOL, that's a good one.

EIT said...

longandwrong take no pity on him - i'm paying nearly £50 a month for satellite tv - he can convert that into canadian dollars.... and don't get me started on petrol prices (that's gas to the colonials)....

i nearly wrote this post in the third person but then realised that only the queen does that...... although maybe exceptions are made for swamigurus?

Solfest said...

Satellite TV, lol, that's a good one EIT. Next you'll be trying to tell me you can connect to the internet with out a wire.

The reason everything is so expensive on your little green island is the fact that you live on a little green island.

Maybe if you joined the European Economic Union, dumped the pound for the euro, and let the French dictate your economic policies things would get better for you.

EIT said...

good idea sol - maybe quebec would make a better job of running alberta ...........

Solfest said...


Let's see they pay $14.99 for basic cable and I pay $37.75.


Viva le Quebec!

Rocky Humbert said...

Have you noticed that Google Ads placed a bunch of Cable TV ads on your blog? That's irony for you!!!

Revenge can be sweet... if your loyal readers click through on those ads....??? Hmmmm

Solfest said...

The Google Bot is all knowing and all wise.

Solfest said...

More cable bill rage.

September, 2010 Solfest's cable bill moved up again to 38.80.

Today Solfest's cable company was kind enough to inform him that his bill will be moving up to $40.90 on April 1st.

I will wait until April 1st just to make sure this is not a April Fools Joke, and if not, I will cancel cable once and for all.